The Mother's House

I first sat with Mother Ayahuasca in January 2020 in the Amazon Rainforest. I was the second of 30 attendees to approach the Shaman, Don Gino as he handed me the cup and I sipped from it. I sat back and within minutes I could feel a beauty I had never conceived of washing over me. A peace beyond my calmest dreams. I couldn't withstand its God rays as they shone so deeply into my soul, obliterating anything that stood in their trajectories. I surrendered into an effortless harmony with the Universe. I had come home. I remember wishing this upon every soul, naming all the close souls I could think of. The souls that I hold dear to me. I know that all of life is ultimately held by that unconditional love. From which life was born, death will also dissolve us back into Heaven which lies Within.

After what felt like 20 minutes, the medicine started to come down. I remember cockily thinking that if this is what the medicine is about then I have nothing to fear. I'm ready for cup number 2. Bring it on Mother! After a little while, 5 or 10 minutes, I started to feel it coming up again. I laid back and found myself being tranced into a psychedelic experience. This is when the journey takes a turn. I'm humbled by the presence of an ancient library of knowledge. Could this have been the Akashic Records? I had transcended into a timeless realm where our higher selves dwell. I am pointed the way by a primal voice. I'm suddenly being brought to the underworld of my being. I was met with a merciless amount of terror in which I had no chance of fighting with. But I did. I fought and I fought. I struggled and I struggled. Somebody by my side was going through what seemed like the end of the road. A ruthless Purge that befell them. I was utterly bewildered with terror and dread that this would some day, or some moment very soon be my fate. The Purge! Gino would guide us to surrender to the Medicine as She squeezes us releasing all of our toxicities, emotionally, physically, spirituality, and interdimensionally. In the storm within, which I was held captive, I could not see a way to surrender. Sirens were screaming from the pits of my soul. My mind holding on to reality as I once knew it, as it was painfully dying before me, blood smeared across my visions as it clawed at its neck for it's last desperate grasp onto survival. I was trapped in the prison of the mind where I hereby received torture and anguish for the rest of my journeys with the Mother. To this day nothing I have ever experienced comes anywhere near as challenging as those 10 days in the jungle purging for my sins, yet nothing as beautiful. I remember thinking, I must pay the price of karma, and I must do my work. I will regain a Clear North in this Walk of Life in a war torn environment of the psyche. I will do this for myself, my family and those I love. I will do this for all of life. The last Battle Mankind will face is the war within. It awaits us. Destiny beckons us gently in the winds of our individual fates.

I remember rejoicing so much after the final ceremony in the day time. I was so grateful for myself for getting through this experience in one piece. I was so delighted to feel a roaring fire once more ignited within. I remember holding my self so passionately with such love and appreciation. I have never experienced a hug so fulfilling. I am so blessed to have been able to embark upon such an incredible healing journey under the protection and guidance of Gino, with the Chaka-Runa family by his side, as we were safely bridged to the Mothers House to do our work. I have infinite gratitude.

Just as Covid was announced I moved to Glastonbury before we were struck by lockdowns. I had received the profoundest epiphany of my life deep amidst the Jungle. A New Earth is birthing, and it starts with me. The old ways must die. I packed up my things and was compelled into my new life. But first, I had to get home. Gino said at the end of the Dieta that we had faced our experiences with the mother, and you have done the work, but now you must return home into the World. Now the Real Work Begins. Boy was he not wrong. On the 21st of December, the Winter Solstice I was initiated into a journey to retrieve and bring home my inner child. Today to which I still journey through. I've passed through many initiations in Glastonbury, the Solstices, the Equinoxes, the Lions Gates, the full moons, the ceremonies and the community of souls uniting as a tribe on the pursuit of bringing into fruition the New Earth. Purging out the Matrix and the old ways.

I attended an Ayahuasca ceremony in late 2021. I could feel the medicine scanning my being with a powerful laser beam. There was still a lot of terror lodged in me needing to be released like bats in the forest. A primal scream I needed to release. She showed me the blueprints of my skeleton and energy body and where my wounds lurk. She showed me where I need to let go, where I need to grieve, where I need to surrender, what I need to retrieve, and where I need to shine love into where there is none yet cultivated. Many wilderness terrains I could see, almost from a birds eye view looking down at the terrain of my soul. I was daunted with how much work laid ahead on my path. But I know now to meet my experience with grace and to not turn my back upon myself and the purge again.

The Mother came to me again in late 2022 where I sat three ceremonies. Here I met my Warrior Spirit. I had released so much terror these past 2 and a half years. I was able to see clearer into my experiences with the Mother. I still could not see her form. Yet I could see where she was taking me, and I could trust in the process. She showed me the doors through which I walked. I began on a slow and paced step by step process towards the bucket as I let out some bad energies. I remember something alive leaving my throat and mouth. I could feel it clinging onto my throat as I pushed it out of me. Like an interdimensional splodge spirit latching on to my light. I couldn't inhale otherwise it would come back into me. I took shallow breaths but I knew I needed to get more breath into my lunges. Gino would remind us. Breaaaaaaath. Surrender to the Mother. Drink your water. Water is life. So I took the plunge and took a great big inhale as I breathed this thing back into me. I was possessed with a form of madness. A psychosis. An enmeshed mess of intertwined gunk and gooeyness to which I felt I was being gobbled up by. But I had got this far. So I danced with it and I wrestled with it. I sung into the Eye of the Storm. We went for one last ride into the Night, final round of Rapé just been served, the Medicines beckoning us forth, Gino banging the drum of Truth as we sing our souls out, one last time, pumped with Joy in our Hearts for the Mother and Ancestors to hear us.

It has been a journey of soul retrieval. Going into the dark pockets of my being, in the wildernesses and exile lands of my under world, and igniting it all with the power of my Light and Joy.

It brings me so much joy to be able to express my healing journey so openly. To not feel like I need to pretend to be something I'm not. It feels like I'm stepping off of a burning planet as I trust and float into my inner knowing and guidance with every heart beat through my journeys, no matter how Light or Dark, leading me home to my Soul from my long digression into Lost Realms of Trauma, Addictions and Escapism. It has been a long and arduous journey thus far. But every Battle was worth facing. Gino once said that the rewards for doing your work are Infinite. I know he is right, yet I am still on the threshold of finite. I am an advocate of the Work. When the phone rings, I recommended Picking it Up, and seeing what endeavours may lay before you on your path of growth.

Big love Family and Tribe ❤