Becoming the Beloved

I am complete. I am flawed.

That which I am seeking is also seeking me, for I am that which I seek. I am in the mirror of your heart. I am that which I see in you. That which I perceive as Divine. Why must I feel so separate from you? Lightyears away, galaxies apart.

For years I have sought completion through your warm embrace. Why must I seek myself in you? Lost in projections of who I thought I was and what I thought mattered. Why must love be so imbedded in pain? Why must it feel like life or death, That my survival depends on it?

I look into your sparkly eyes and I see hope reflected back as your eyes flutter. Yet your eyes always close in the night. When you walk away it feels like all beauty leaves me to be with you as you both intertwine. Like I am alone in a dark wilderness fending for my life. When there is no hope or strength to withstand the storms crashing down on my bleeding heart. Yet I go on living because I know my salvation is this way.

For long I have walked these shadow lands with such weary senses, In search of my grey haven. Refuge to rest my soul upon. A place to reside and call my home. I gradually reel in the projections I cast upon you. I begin to feel more whole as I integrate in the treasure of my hunt one golden coin at a time.

I renounce all seeking and allow love to flow towards me. Like the yin and yang becoming one. I gracefully become that which I seek. I release you from the responsibility I previously placed upon you to complete me. As I drift into the night singing to my soul, And it dances back in rippling ecstasy.